Daniel L. Bamberg
columnist
This week's edition of "Everybody Has One" features a bit of tough language for people who place their kids on "God-like" pedestals. It is not a surprise that some of you got a bad taste in your mouth and others had furthering questions. Let me first explain that yes, the opening quote "My children are my god" has been spoken to me many times. I have also read or seen of where celebrities have said this. 
It is obvious this might be a generational thing. With that possibility I will so stipulate it as such. Perhaps this began with my ridiculous generation. Either way, this mentality is out there and is becoming more and more prevalent an idea as the days go by. I however must suggest
it may have begun with a similar notion which occurred before my generation came of age. This said idea was "my child is my friend first, and my kid second." While these two statements may seem as an apple and orange scenario, I feel it is more like a tangerine to tangelo comparison.
Some have called me on the fact that I am not a parent. I will not argue that and will even suggest I should not be expressing how I feel one should raise a child without this experience. Yet my column did not approach parenthood on a personal level at all. It approached it on a social one. It is society which is being extracted from these ideals. Never would I tell someone how to discipline their child, but to me there is a social duty to express as a human being that parents should "discipline their children." Never would I tell someone how to feed their child, but there is a social duty for one to express parents should "feed their children."
This is a pretty basic example of what I was suggesting with the column "When Tiny Gods Look Up and Find Nothing." It is not my purpose nor privilege to suggest what priority a parent places their children. It is my duty as a member of the human race to express a child can not in any way possess an authority on society. Someone mentioned the baby Jesus. I must sarcastically cut that off by explaining Jesus reached adult hood and before that he wasn't posting authoritative positions in the world.
I am not a parent. This is another reason why I take such comments personally. I look around and those given the privilege and opportunity to raise a child. This may or may not be something I will eventually get to experience in my lifetime. There is a certain envy I possess for parents. This is why I take a certain degree of personal insult to those who should not be raising a child. I am sorry but any person who calls their child a "god" is unworthy of the responsibility and the gift of parenthood. I will not move on that, even if my critics must expel my words with a dismissive label of "envy."
Finally, in reference to those who suggested I misinterpreted the real meaning behind the statement; "my child is my god..."
Perhaps the intention is to say "my child is my top priority" or "I would die for my child." Yet it is so much easier those things than it is to say "my child is my god." This statement is first meant to blaspheme the possibility of a higher power and shock those who believe in such. Secondly it is meant to suggest "My child is the being who motivates and defuse my actions." I understand that mentality but again the child must be motivated and defused by his/her guardian and cannot rightfully do so if said guardian is looking to them for the next move. Parenthood, I am sure is an inspirational life changing moment, but it cannot be a religion. A parent cannot submit to a child. This is simply the loss of the very essential key in being parental.
This blog should lead nicely into next week's piece which is the second part of the three part series I am doing on the Modesto City School Board. I would like to thank those of you who have expressed interest and concern in that piece. I finally got official comment on the record and the three-parter continues next week.
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